Ergonomically uncomfortable yet?

So, yesterday and the day before....? I apologise. I have my head on straight now. But man, the thing that would consequently turn those days around for me, would be someone making me laugh. Like really laugh, and if that was you, thanks, I needed it.

The affection I hold for this class is sneaking up on me and catching me by surprise. The attention to detail needed is what is getting to me, but not in an anal retentive "design" fashion--more along the lines of you have to pay attention to details to be creative. I'm getting the hang of the software also, which is a huge help, as it now becomes secondary to the actual creative process.

Today...I found out an unexpected glorious thing about campus. I mean, it was one of those places I always knew was there, but never felt inclined to go see. But now....now things are different, and I thoroughly enjoyed the cool dungeon of the James Peel book collection. Most noteably, the William Morris books. SUPER most notably, the Alice in Wonderland book that he printed (he being the printer AND woodcut carver in question). I was completely agog with the woodcuts he made for the illustrations of the story. It was one of these things where you forget that it was "Alice in Wonderland" that you are reading, and pay $4000 to own a copy of it, for the exquisiteness of the printing, the binding, the typesetting, the fucking ILLUSTRIOUS illustrations...it was truly a thing of beauty, and I learned more about why I like the books I like. I suspect however, that this may be the harkening of a burgeoning addiction to book collecting. Also...when they were describing the printmaking process, I started hypothesizing on ways to do it on my own with different mediums, having always been too intimidated to try using wood blocks. The ideal thing would be a heavy sort of plastic that was soft, but dense enough that it wouldn't print sloppily, and could allow for extremely detailed cuts to be made.

AND...for some reason, I was looking at a typeset today (a collection of numbers or letters to be collated on a printing press, etc), and I had this weird feeling of deja vu that growing up we'd had a set, and I'd never realized it obviously, until it was too late. I will have to ask my mother.

Lastly....I feel like I'm still a little ways away from forming a chap book, but I saw an interesting binding/book fashion today that would be totally awesome to use for a chapbook. I'm not going to let it out of the bag until I try it though. It would also (I think) be a great art project for school. Even just the making and binding of a book would be, but it would be important to make sure they weren't just making a book, but that some of the emphasis would lie on the content of the book also, in whatever I might come up with. Ideally, I could see it accompanying a novel study even, but I'm at a loss at the moment as to what book that might be.

But who knows what we'll even be allowed to teach by the time I start teaching. Anything thought provoking seems to be out of style. . . The sad part is, that I'm only half joking. Kids need to be taught pragmatism yes, but they certainly don't benefit from being stifled to death by it either. I think this could be why I am always sort of seeing extremes now in how kids behave in schools...give a kid the ability to be an abstract thinker, but teach them responsibility--responsibility in that every action they do, will have a consequence (good or bad), and that they ultimately are the ones that have to be able to address that. As a teacher, you are a facilitator, not a dictator! Rant rant rant!

baby eat that chicken slow....

Nothing says bliss like having a twelve pound cat purring in your arms while you stand half a foot away from a TV and watch four hours of Gordon Downie getting off on stage, behind the scenes, making artistic farting noises, and other revealing things. I need to own "Hipeponymous". It doesn't seem just or fair or right in any way shape or form, no matter how I write it, think it, that my dad owns this and I do not.

I am Jack's burning envy and jealous green monster.

I am not a fan compelled to keep Mr. Downie's sweat in a vial around her neck, but rather one who would be quietly terrified to meet him in person, who would think of the perfect thing to say to him only after he'd left the room.

Holy fuck.

Everyone and their cat and goldfish needs to own this. Probably everyone does, except me.

This has been a rare superficial moment served up McDonald's style in a way that will surely kill you, but tastes like your momma's hot chocolate, by Emerson Emergency.

Freedom

"Feb. 16 - Freedom - Take a leadership role today in your own life. Find one way you can be more expressive of who you truly are."

Well, I took the proverbial freedom thing by the horns today, and stepped in the leader-shi*, and expressed myself by parting ways with my boyfriend of almost one year. I realized that I was being taken for granted, and that he just was not ready for the responsibility or commitment of being with me, so we just ended that aspect of our relationship. He took it quite well, as I got the impression that he was feeling trapped anyways and knew this was coming. But as to feeling more uplifted about all this, I don't know, though I'm grateful that our friendship and love for each other has remained in tact.

Gratitude

"Feb. 14 - Gratitude - Begin the day by listing 5 things for which you are grateful and end it by sharing with one person all of the good things that happened to you today."

Five things for which I am grateful:
1. My family
2. My friends
3. A roof over my head
4. The opportunity to go to school
5. The country I live in (Canada).

See, that part was easy, because I'm reminded of this nearly every day, though, admittedly it is something easy to push into the back of my mind when some sort of odd melodrama hits. All the good things that happened to me today though?

1. I ran into my best friend unexpectedly on the escalator to class. My best recollections of him are always when he catches me by surprise like that, because he loves sneaking up on me and grumbling through the (mysterious) morning smile he always has on when he sees me.

2. My marginal lit class went really well. Simon sat next to me, and I actually gathered up the gumption to say more then a few things in class this time.

3. I had a really nice coffee with Simon afterwards, and we had a really in depth discussion on the next "phase" of life that seems so imminent to us now- and how contenting it can be to know who you are.

4. Kat gave me a huge bag of cinnamon hearts in my next class for Valentines day, and showed me the friendship bracelet she's making me, and it's absolutely incredible looking. We hung out after class and she cheered me up and gave me some good advice.

5. Ran into Jason N. and caught up briefly, as I haven't seen him at all this semester, and I enjoy the guy's vivacity for life, he's really awesome.

6. It started to snow on the way home, in big gorgeous white fat flakes, and I love walking through that.

7. I had french fries and mayo for supper- t'was excellent.

8. I'm going to see the Vagina Monologues tonight, which is very awesome. I've seen it once before, but it's different every time.

9. I got an email from Adam that made me feel a lot better about our quibble last night, and less panicky about the whole situation.

10. Today is day two of clean sheet night (It's still good!)

64 Days of Non-Violence

The story starts with the explanation that my grandmother has been going to Unity Church with my aunt for quite a while. The church they attend is full of people practising many different faiths, in a very open-minded setting, and as part of the church-going activities, the church itself offers many workshops and/or presentations involving many conflicts or themes that we regularly battle in our day to day lives.

What happened as of late, is that the church issued a challenge of sorts to recognise a new thing called the 64 Days of Non-Violence, that spans between January 30 (the assination of Mahatma Ghandi) and April 4, which was the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr. So, for every day in between there is an assigned task to help develop a sense of peace within yourself, as well as affecting peace outside yourself.

When my grandma brought this to my attention, I was really interested right away. Sometimes it feels like my character is so deteriorated that it is hard, or not worth it to try and recover it a bit- and this presented itself as an opportunity to do something uplifting for a change. More importantly, it would bring my focus more to the outside world then myself, which is ultimately where it should be anyways.

So here is first the objectives of non-violence, which will be followed with the actual calendar. I'm going to do this, and probably keep posting as I do them. Hopefully I'll be able to stay on top of it. And for other people that try it (as I'm sure it will also happen with me- don't give up if you miss a day or two- it happens.) Interestingly enough, this sort of coincides with Lent a little bit- so, I the non-believer, will be doing this instead. Also- I can't stress enough that if you yourself are doing this challenge also- please comment on the entries with your own experiences, or, email me if you want to be a co-writer.

Objectives of Non-violence

To respect self and others- To respect myself, to affirm others and to avoid uncaring criticism, hateful words, physical attacks and self-destructive behaviour.

To communicate better- To share my feelings honestly, to look for safe ways to express my anger, and to work at solving problems peacefully.

To Listen- To listen carefully to one another, especially those who disagree with me, and to consider others' feelings and needs rather than insist on having my own way.

To Forgive-To apologise and make amends when I have hurt another, to forgive others, and to keep from holding grudges.

To Respect Nature- To treat the environment and all living things with respect and care.

To Recreate Non-violently- To promote athletic and recreational activities that encourage co-operation and to avoid social activities that make violence look exciting, funny or acceptable.

To be Courageous- To challenge violence in all forms whenever I encounter it, whether at home, at work, or in the community, and to stand with others who are treated unfairly.

The Calendar

Days 1 - 23 focus on Personal change. Non-violence begins by learning how to be less violent and more compassionate with ourselves. We learn by building the courage to speak and act with a respect, honour and reverence for our own being.

Jan 30 - Courage - Eleanor Roosevelt urged, "you must do the things that you think you cannot do. Light a candle and accept the courage to practice living in peace."

Jan 31 - Smiling - Today, share a smile with at least 3 people, knowing that your smile contributes to peace.

Feb. 1 - Appreciation - Write down 10 things that you appreciate about yourself, then read it aloud.

Feb. 2 - Caring - Real caring is not just what we say, but what we do. Make a list of at least 5 ways you can take better care of y ourself. Practice at least one today.

Feb. 3 - Believing - Today believe that you have all the resources to move your life in the direction of peace. Be aware of simple demonstrations of peaceful responses.

Feb. 4 - Simplicity - Think of 3 says you can simplify your life and put at least one into practice today.

Feb. 5 - Education - Learn about the power of nonviolence by educating yourself. Read an article that relates to nonviolence. Learn about human rights, diversity, ecology, history, forgiveness, spirituality, peace studies and more.
Feb 6 - Healing - Today choose a painful incident in your life and find the gift it has given you. Conciously share this gift with others.

Feb 7 - Dreaming - Martin Luther King Jr., had a dream What is your dream of peace? Write it down. What is one thing you can do to honor that dream? Do it today.

Feb. 8 - Faith - Today say "I can", even if you are not aware of how to accomplish your goal. Have faith and say "I Can", until you find a way.

Feb. 9 - Contemplation - "As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is." For at least 3 minutes, relax, breath, and let your mind be fed by Whatsoever is good and beautiful

Feb 10- Groundedness - Some little root of the sacred tree still lives. Nourish it. Today, place a seed in the earth or nurture a plant.

Feb. 11 - Creativity - Identify at least 5 ways in which you express your creativity everyday. Today, allow something unpredictable and joyous to express through you.

Feb. 12 - Humility - Making mistakes is part of learning and growing. Freely acknowledge at least one mistake you make today, and reflect for a couple of minutes on what you have learned.

Feb. 13 - Reverence - Today go for a walk and realise the beauty around above and below you. Everybody needs beauty as well as bread. where Nature may heal and cheer and give strength to body and soul

Feb. 14 - Gratitude - Begin the day by listing 5 things for which you are grateful and end it by sharing with one person all of the good things that happened to you today.

Feb. 15 - Integrity - When faced with a choice, today, listen to your conscience. You know what's right. Do it.

Feb. 16 - Freedom - Take a leadership role today in your own life. Find one way you can be more expressive of who you truly are.

Feb. 17 - Acceptance - Resentment, fear, criticism and guilt cause more problems than anything else Choose not to judge yourself. See yourself as unique, loving, capable and bright. Accept yourself as you are:

Feb. 18 - Self Forgiveness - Knowing that who you are is greater than what you have done or not done, have or don't have, today forgive yourself for forgetting the good that is you.

Feb. 19 - Inspiration - Think of at least 2 people who exemplify the practice of peace. What is it you admire about them? Practise these behaviours today.

Feb. 20 - Mission - "My life is my message" (Gandhi). Write down what you want to stand for in your life. Note at least one way you can show through action that you stand for your beliefs. Take this action today

Feb 21 - Prayer - "Prayer from the heart can achieve what nothing else in the world can", said Gandhi. Begin and end the day with a prayer for peace, let peace begin with you. (sidenote: I imagine that this prayer is pretty flexible to beliefs or the lackthereof)

Feb. 22 - Harmony - Today, choose to see the good in others rather than finding fault. Choosing not to engage in any form of gossip contributes to harmony.

Feb. 23 - Friendliness - Will Rogers said that strangers were just friends he hadn't met yet. View those you encounter today as friends. Make a new acquaintance.

Feb. 24 - Respect - Today respect yourself and others by choosing not to use any profanity or "put-downs"

Feb. 25 - Generosity - "There is a hidden poverty more pervasive than lack of money. It is the poverty of the heart" (Mother Theresa). Spend 10 minutes assisting someone who needs your nurturing.

Feb. 26 - Listening - Today stop what you are doing and take 5 minutes to listen to the feelings behind someone's words to you. Be fully present for the conversation and show interest in what the person is saying.

Feb. 27 - Forgiveness - There are more important things than remembering a hurt. Write a letter to forgive someone and move on with life. You do not have to mail the letter.

Feb. 28 - Amends - Make amends today. Apologize to someone you may have hurt and mean your apology sincerely.

March 1 - Praising - Appreciation helps people grow. Offer praise to at least 3 people today for their personal qualities, achievements or helpful service.

March 2 - Patience - When your plans seem delayed choose to be patient by identifying at least 3 ways that you can constructively use this time to support your goal.

March 3 - Acknowledgement - Tell someone today what a difference he or she has made in your life. Acknowledge that person for being there for you.

March 4 - Love - Nonviolence is based on the assumption that human nature unfailingly responds to the advances of love. Gandhi focus on what you appreciate most about the person you like the least.

March 5 - Understanding - When you understand, you cannot help but love. Practice looking at all living beings with the eyes of compassion. Send a silent thought of love to 10 people today. Share your experience with someone.

March 6 - Mindfulness - Be aware of the motivation behind your action, the intention behind your words and the needs and experiences of other people. By doing so, you are making life more beautiful for others.

March 7 - Graciousness - When you are out driving today, slow down and let the other car pull in front of you. Stop and let pedestrians cross the street. Hold the door open for someone else to enter first.

March 8 - Kindness - Participate in random and senseless acts of kindness. Perform 3 acts of kindness today.

(And most of all have a HAPPY BIRTHDAY TODAY KYLA!) (My grandmother is so awesome)

March 9 - Dialogue - A healthy society is one in which those who disagree can do so with honour and respect for other people's opinion. Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others. Today, speak up, but do not enter into the spirit of argument.

March 10 - Unity - Today look for 3 ways to see beyond outer differences in opinions, appearances or goals. Find the meeting point of underlying unity that exists in diversity.

March 11 - Openness - "He who builds himself a fence, fences out more than he fences in" (Turkish Proverb). Today be open to understanding ideas and people that you have previously opposed.

March 12 - Accountability - Today take responsibility for how you contribute to a conflict and make a different choice that can lead to a peaceful resolution.

March 13 - Uniqueness - Praise complement and honour the uniqueness of at least 5 people today. Notice the positive impact you make by valuing the individuality of each one.

March 14 - Co-operation - When we work together we are stronger than when we work alone. Today find one significant way that you can cooperate more effectively with the people in your family, workplace, school or community. Do it.

March 15 - Mastery - Breathe deeply, silently counting backwards from ten to calm yourself and cool off before speaking or acting in anger. Do this at least once today.

Days 47-64 focus on Community. Non-violent objectives challenge us to stand up for truth by taking action that honors the dignity and worth of every human being.

March 16 - Compassion - Find someone who thinks he is alone and let him know he is not - Mother Theresa. Do this today?

March 17 - Disarmament - Have a conversation with someone today about what the world would be like if there were no weapons nor any need for them. Imagine such a world.

March 18 - Ecology - Value the earth by conserving natural resources and practicing recycling. Today use or purchase at least one recycled product.

March 19 - Honor - "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is" (Albert Einstein). Today, stop to honor the hands that prepare your food, the earth for it's bounty and the people who provide services for you.

March 20 - Respect - Be aware today of 'jokes" or remarks that show disrespect toward groups, sexes, classes of people, religions. Be considerate of every person's dignity, and choose not to participate in disrespectful conversations.

March 21 - Advocacy - Every action for peace requires someone to exhibit the courage to challenge violence and inspire love. Today be an ally. Without blaming or judging others speak out for those who are disrespected.

March 22 - Equality - Have you ever noticed groups of people who are unrepresented in your activities and lifestyle? Find one way to connect with a person from these groups today.

March 23 - Action -"Each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total, of all those acts will be written the history for this generation" (Robert Kennedy). Today, find a way to make one small change.

March 24 - Giving -Practice generosity by sharing time, energy and material resources. Clean out your closet, bureau or garage. Give away what you no longer need.

March 25 - Responsibility - The quality of your community starts with you. Today pick up trash that is not your own, whether at home, work or play. Every little bit helps.

March 26 - Self Sufficiency - People need the dignity of work and the opportunity to provide for themselves. Today, create a job for someone or help someone find employment or learn how to apply for a job.

March 27 - Service - "Everybody can be great, because anybody can serve. You only need a heart full of grace and a soul generated by love" (Martin Luther King Jr.) Sign up to volunteer at least 2 hours this month to an organization of your choice. Share your commitment with at least one person.

March 28 - Citizenship - Today call or write one of your state or federal legislators and registrar your views.

March 29 - Intervention - Today, have the courage to intervene in a caring way with someone who may be using alcohol or drugs. Through honest and straightforward means.

March 30 - Witnessing - Those who practice nonviolence cannot close their eyes to injustice or cruelty. We are here to be a witness for Justice and Compassion. Be willing to stand up for Truth by your presence, your words, and actions.

March 31 - Peace - Today, make a choice to meet each experience with an intention for peace.

April 1- Commitment - Spend 5 minutes reflecting on your commitment to nonviolence. Write down what it means to you and what you are willing to do as a consequence of your commitment. Make your commitment public by sharing this with at least 2 people.

April 2 - Release - Today, look back on how far you have come during the 64 day journey. Release the weight of your past, judgments of yourself and others, and the ideas that world peace is not possible, by acknowledging that you do make a difference.

April 3 - Celebration - Rejoice in the work that you have done. Celebrate the journey that you have made. "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has" (Margaret Mead).

Hmmm...so apparently this doesn't extend until the fourteenth of April, but we'll think of something to do until then at a later date.